ARTICLE SUMMARY

“God, if you give me more time here on earth I promise to devote the rest of my life with you”.  

What is bargaining and how can I help with this type of grief?

• Bargaining is a stage of grief, and is an attempt to postpone death.  
• Typically the bargain is made in secret, between the dying and God.
• Your loved one may promise to make amends and live a life pleasing to God
• However these remarks by your loved one could contain a deeper message of a guilt burden that they are grieving for.  
• You should not brush aside such remarks, but instead help them discover what may lie at the heart of them.  

Your loved one may be expressing a hidden desire for confession.  Seek a priest, a chaplain or a spiritual advisor to help your loved one work thru this stage of grief.  They may have hostilities towards God, guilt from not attending church more regular, or carry other burdens, and the professional may be able to help.  

By freeing your loved one from deeper guilt, from deep fears that may be hidden in this message, you will help them move past this stage of grief, help them grow and mature even as they near the end of life.

What is bargaining and how can I help with this stage of Grief?

FULL ARTICLE

“God, if you give me more time here on earth I promise to devote the rest of my life with you”.  

What is bargaining and how can I help with this type of grief?

Bargaining is a stage of grief, and is an attempt to postpone death.  Typically the bargain is made in secret, between the dying and God.  It has variations, but is essentiality the same.  If God will give me more time, I will commit fully to Him.  Your loved one may promise to make amends and live a life pleasing to God – however often such promises are not fulfilled.

Most importantly, however these remarks by your loved one could contain a deeper message of a guilt burden that they are grieving for.  You should not brush aside such remarks, but instead help them discover what may lie at the heart of them.  Your loved one may be expressing a hidden desire for confession.  Seek a priest, a chaplain or a spiritual advisor to help your loved one work thru this stage of grief.  They may have hostilities towards God, guilt from not attending church more regular, or carry other burdens, and the professional may be able to help.   

By freeing your loved one from deeper guilt, from deep fears that may be hidden in this message, you will help them move past this stage of grief, help them grow and mature even as they near the end of their life.