Death and Dying - Letting Go When Death is Near

Is it okay to let go when death is near?

ARTICLE SUMMARY

Martha was obviously distressed, as she tossed and turned in the hospice bed. She seemed to be in emotional pain, but her family did not know why. Finally, her daughter came to her and whispered “Mom, it is ok to go. We will be fine, all of us will be. We love you and will all miss you. But it is ok to let go.” Her mother turned to her, smiled, and closed her eyes. She died peacefully, surrounded by her family.

Letting go when facing death and dying:

Is a great gift a family member can give to their dying loved one
It might be one of the hardest things you have ever done
Sometimes permission is needed from you that it is ok.
By permission you help them to pass unencumbered by burdens of guilt.
Your loved one may begin to withdraw, first from friends, family, and maybe you

Frequently this is a time you and your family need more support. While your loved one may be ready to let go, you may not.

This gift of yourself will help you grow, and become better equipped to face your loved one’s death and dying.

Is it okay to let go when death is near?

FULL ARTICLE

Martha was obviously distressed, as she tossed and turned in the hospice bed. She seemed to be in emotional pain, but her family did not know why. Finally, her daughter came to her and whispered “Mom, it is ok to go. We will be fine, all of us will be. We love you and will all miss you. But it is ok to let go.” Her mother turned to her, smiled, and closed her eyes. She died peacefully, surrounded by her family.

Giving your loved one permission to let go and to die is one of the greatest gifts a family member can give to their loved one facing death and dying, although it might be one of the hardest things you have ever done. It is ok to let your loved one go when they are ready. Sometimes permission is needed from you that it is ok. By the gift of that permission you help to bring a peaceful closure to their life, and allow them to pass unencumbered by burdens of guilt.

Your loved one may begin to withdraw, first from friends, then family, and then maybe only you. Remember this is separation, not rejection. It is ok to allow this to happen naturally, but recognize it as preparation by your loved one facing his or her own death and dying.

Facing the reality of your own death may be a burden to you as you experience the death and dying of a loved one. Frequently this is a time you and your family need more support. While your loved one may be ready to let go, you may not. Do not neglect yourself and your needs as well. Coming to grips with this reality will help you care for your loved one. This gift of yourself will help you grow, and become better equipped to face your loved one’s death and dying.